I don't want to bore you with the 4 wks of gorey details of what brought me to the ER, but know this: I've had the worst, wackiest solid 4 weeks of health challenges of my life. Bacteria in nether regions, antibiotics, severe allergic reaction, new antibiotics, first infection resolving while new pains and aches develop in a completely different area, ultrasound and more labs revealing nada (looking in the areas of the first infection). I was still sick.
I don't make stuff up. The last place I want to be is in a hospital. Two girlfriends and mom prompted me to go to the best and stop futzing around on the island, staying in pain all these weeks. After wrapping up Friday work, I told the island doc my plan and she agreed I should go. Kids and I headed to Kassie's, and I planned to be back in a couple hours. Well....a pee test, CT scan, blood test and big-shot-in-ass later, I returned in the wee hours with a diagnosis of cystitis that had ascended to the kidney. I'm on Keflex and here's hoping!
At Swedish, I was given the bed space I jokingly named the "corner suite." The bed barely fit in there. All the acoustics bounced off the walls into my little space. I lay on a gurney in my sexy, back-opening hospital gown, with undulating stabbing kidney pain offset by the entertaining conversations surrounding me, pinging into my earshot. It was like "night court" for hospitals. Here are some vignettes of patients and staff (they were awesome):A schizophrenic 250+ pound woman
She was slovenly dressed and 35 yrs of age, with crusty foot soles and an unpredictable demeanor. She screamed in pain, breathed hard, cried out (waiting and exam rooms both) that turantulas were crawling all over her feet, then it was snakes, then it was turantulas. "Dont you see them?! How can you let them do this to me!!" I saw her in the waiting room. She was running up to the front reception alerting the desk "that man next to me is trying to kill me!" He was the husband of a patient, total stranger. After being looked at I heard the doctor releasing her home. She wanted something to ease the pain. I think she was there for drugs, to get high.Tucker, the visiting pro skater from San Diego
All I can say is this man, in his 20s, won't be skateboarding again soon. He fell 5 feet onto concrete doing a skate trick, landing with all his weight squarely on his hip--his femur shattered, and the leg was off the socket. They drugged him up with dilaudin and informed him and his VERY hovering family (and a dad who wanted his kid pumped with as much pain killer as possible--a strong advocate)he'd be having constructive surgery the next morning and a rod would be going in to help the shattered bones fuse together. Damn!Low self esteem woman, let's call her Mini
Mini had the pulp beaten out of her by her so called boyfriend. She was about 50. In the waiting room, she had a bandage across her nose, a mouth so swollen it hung open with fat lips pursed, and black eyes that looked like permanent tribal paint. In the exam area the social worker asked: Did you call the police? (NO) Has this happened before? (YES) Do you have anywhere to stay? (NO) The social worker comes back a few minutes later. "Here is a list of all the safe houses around the city. I've called each looking for a room. Unfortunately, all of them are full for the entire weekend."
(I think, holy shit, if I wasn't sleeping here, or at Kassie's, she'd be coming home with me!) I felt like I needed to help her. But in the end, I think that woman was fully intending to head straight back to her perpetrator.The captive Indian
He was sick. He needed treatment, but the minute they weren't looking he ripped out his IV and started booking. A nurse said, "Sir, sir, where are you going," and the Indian man said "I'll be right back..." sure you will. He normally was a patient of Indian Health. He had NO DESIRE to stay. Someone commented, "I'd like to see the before and after breathalizer if he actually DOES come back..."
Before I left, to ease the discomfort, a rather attractive male nurse informs me I'll be getting a shot of a super anti-inflammatory. I joked, "lemme guess you're going to put it in my ass!" (then I realized that sounded TOTALLY perverted!). He let's a pause go by and smiles with a reply, actually the injection does go in the hip area (read: ass!). So he comes back and says this shot isn't so bad because at least the needle isn't FAT, just long.
Okay, I could make a million jokes here, but hopefully this is the END to a long chapter of feeling achey, weak and tired. I have Keflex working in the blood (which is a miracle I'm not allergic to since Penicillin and Levaquin nearly killed me) and life should be normal again soon. Work, home and kids have not suffered, I've just kind've shouldered this myself and next time I'll make a much bigger deal to doctors to LISTEN TO ME. That was a long road.